Square Peg Into A Round Hole

Ever feel like you’re a square peg trying to fit into a round hole?

That seems to be my life story, as far back as I can remember… I was always getting yelled at by my dad for not doing things the way he wanted me to. I was willing to change and eventually found myself talking like him and his friends, using certain grown folk mannerisms hoping to get a chuckle or acknowledgement from him and his drinking buddies. I remember in school I was a nerd, bigger than most, and fatter than almost all… I wasn’t a jock by any means or into sports but I was willing to change and give them a try by playing a bit of everything because all of my friends played, but I never really got a joy out of playing sports. My parents never went to any of my games so that kinda’ sucked. It wasn’t until I started getting awards for academic achievements that my mom started going to my ceremonies.

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With my childhood friend Steven Vallejo and his dad Joe after one of our games in Cudahy, CA.

Fast forward to Junior High School and it was even more awkward, I’m still a nerd and just didn’t seem to fit in, but I was willing to change. I managed to fit in the New Wave crowd for a bit, I didn’t like smoking weed so I kept away from the stoners. But after a fight where I got whooped by some dude smaller than me, I realized that I craved something else, a different kind of attention, and I was willing to change to get it. I began to actively seek acceptance from the local street gang in Huntington Park where I’d been living. But they wouldn’t accept me as I was, I had to again be willing to change, so I did.

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Here with David Rodriguez who was my best friend in Jr. High, his brother Anthony and friends.
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Not long after having joined the neighborhood gang. Left my cousin Alex aka “Chino” who was tragically killed a couple years later in Lynwood, and my homeboy Kali to my right.
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One of the few portraits/ pictures of me and all my siblings. This was taken at our home in Huntington Park shortly after having been paroled from the California Youth Authority. Left to right; Danny, Erika, Annette, Becky, and Me.

I changed so much, that I’d forgotten who I actually was. I entered what seemed to be a revolving door that led me in and out of jails and institutions over and over again from the age of 13 through 24. I’d also become very close with the cartels and began working with them, but they wouldn’t accept me as a cholo, so I needed to dress the part, and talk the part… I had to fully live into my Sinaloan heritage, once again I had to be willing to change in order to be accepted by these guys and do business with them. That whole situation ended really bad with me having to flee to Sinaloa as a fugitive on the run, on LA’s most wanted, and because federal agents were now actively looking for me I had to once again, make serious changes… even my name.

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At my niece Amanda’s baptism.

Living in Sinaloa and then Ensenada, Baja California was not easy… it was extremely hard, so much in fact that at times I felt like returning to the U.S. and telling the agents at the border who I was and that I was a wanted fugitive… but I didn’t, so I had to change and adapt to a new way of life. When I decided to come back to the U.S. again many years later, I had to forget all the changes I’d made while on the run in Mexico and get back to the old me… but I was having a hard time figuring out who I was. I had to be willing to change yet again.

My past finally caught up to me and I ended up in jail again, but this time they weren’t playing, the system was done with me and they were trying to give me life… again. At the peak of my downfall, recidivism kicks in and I get stuck in another revolving door in and out a few more times, until I come to “thee” moment… that defining moment that God used to draw me in and not let me go. At that point, when I came to saving faith in a prison cell, I encountered one of the biggest battles ever… an identity crisis, because you see, being a Christian in prison isn’t looked upon as being cool… but I was tired, I was done and desperately wanted to submit my life to Christ. I gave up the gang, changed up and pissed a lot of people off in the process… I had to be willing to change again, but I didn’t know how… I started using my real name, started reading God’s Word and it started coming alive to me and in me. Things were changing rapidly… but I was struggling with my identity. I’d been used to changing so much of myself in order to please others I’d forgotten who I was along the way. But in Christ, I started to discover who I really was. I was a son of the living God, grafted into Him by way of faith, forgiven, restored, and being formed into His image slowly but surely, day by day seeking to serve Him and only Him. 2 Corinthians 5:17 showed me that because I was in Christ, I was a new creation, “The old has passed away; behold the new has come.”

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Preaching at Emmanuel Reformed Church in Paramount, CA. 2017

As a Christian, things didn’t change much. I found myself… a ghetto raised Latino in an 80+ year old church that belonged to 392-year-old Dutch Reformed Denomination. Although the church I was a part of was extremely diverse in many aspects, it in no way reflected the denomination as a whole which remained predominantly white. As I grew in my faith, my theology grew too, I was passionate about studying and getting as much theological and biblical doctrine as possible, I was like a sponge trying to absorb as much as I could and discern things on my own and for myself, and as I did, I found myself not really fitting in. I found myself not really agreeing with many things my beloved denomination allowed, tolerated, or was known for. I was nurtured there, cared for, encouraged, spurred on and challenged… so I remained true, faithful, and dedicated to help give my 2 cents as well as a voice to those like me. But something changed though, and that was that I was no longer willing to change anymore, especially any changes pertaining to my understanding of what the Bible taught about delicate issues such as gender and roles, marriage, and immigration. I needed to be like Jesus!

1 Corinthians 11:1, “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.”

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Left: California Youth Authority in Santa Cruz, CA. ’90 Right: Newly Ordained Minister of Word and Sacrament at Reformed Church LA in Lynwood, CA. ’19

2 years ago I was invited to serve on a team of 12 that was tasked with trying to find the best way forward for the Reformed Church in America. There’s talk of a split… and it makes us wonder what the potential outcome will be. What will happen at General Synod, will we stay, will we leave, will we be forced to go elsewhere… one thing for sure is this, I will never again change for anyone or anything, especially as it pertains to my understanding of what is expected of me by my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. God didn’t save me from multiple life sentences, gunshot wounds, and stabbings to forget where I came from or not use that as an advantage to reach and teach folks that come from similar backgrounds as mine. I am no longer willing to change! I must preach and teach the Gospel, my walk MUST match my talk. It’s been a difficult 2 years thus far as we navigate and truly wonder what the outcome will be. I know there are folks who’ve already made up their minds to leave the RCA as well as those determined to stay and fight… fight that their understanding of holy scripture would be accepted and lived out by all, I don’t want to fight. I want to make disciples, I want to plant more churches, I want folks to know who Jesus is, what our mandate is and how we serve Him as both our Lord and Savior. I want to try to live a holy life, called to die daily to my sin, serve others selflessly, be hospitable, and to keep peace, unity, as we preserve God’s Truth.

1 Peter 2:21, “For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps.”

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I’m all about unity and peace, but I’m more about purity and truth… and my love of God will NOT allow me to ever change my my ways to please anyone, never again! I do hope and expect  to continue to grow as a Christian, and to change only as He sees fit, as He molds me… as God forms me and shapes me to be conformed to the image of His son.

My life is much different now than when I was growing up, I’ve matured, I’ve found out who I really am, and most importantly Who’s I am. I am a son of the Most High God, adopted into His family, chosen by Him out of sheer mercy and grace, forgiven of my sins, and spiritually regenerated and made new… do you know who you are? Are you a square peg trying to fit into a round hole? You don’t have to keep feeling that way, submit your life to an audience of One and all will be well.

1 John 2:6, “Whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.”

 

 

 

“El Roi” The God Who Sees Me!

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I remember being in seminary, and one of my professors had a ring on his finger with some Hebrew writing, and it just so happened I was also taking Hebrew that semester and asked him about it. Although I knew what it said, “El Roi” or “the God who sees me”. I wasn’t quite sure why he was wearing it. He shared a touching story with us and that stayed with me, not so much his story, but the fact that God does in fact see me… and He sees you too. This name of “El Roi” comes from Genesis 16 in a story in which Hagar, a young slave, was being obedient to her mistress and mistreated so much that she ran away. While she was in the wilderness an angel of the Lord came to her to tell her that the Lord had heard her affliction and that she was to go back. It might sound like a strange story if you’re not familiar with the whole narrative, but this blog post isn’t meant to be a thorough Bible study on Genesis 16, but instead a reminder to you that as God saw the young servant girl Hagar in the wilderness when she was at wits end, she was so overwhelmed with life, she was stuck in a situation where she was being obedient and faithful yet made to suffer… for many of us, it too can seem like we’re doing all that we’re supposed to and just can’t catch a break, right? This whole COVID-19 pandemic has many people feeling this way for a variety of reasons… friend, be reminded that God sees you, just as He saw the poor slave girl running away in the wilderness.

For some folks, the loss of a job after having worked so hard to get financially stable completely killed their hard earned progress. For others that were barely getting by week to week, the loss of a job or reduction of hours has also been a major setback. These things might not seem like a big deal to some people because they’ve got savings, or tons of resources to fall back on, but for many in my community and in my church that’s just not the case. This is a blog on urban church planting, which means starting a church from scratch in the hood… an area that’s already under resourced, an area where folks (like myself) have to have more than one job in order to get by… and this domino effect unfortunately hits the church hard too. And when you have no paid staff for tech stuff, audio/ video needs, etc… this is what it looks like sometimes on a Sunday during live stream of service… I’m manning the cameras while Elder Steve Price is preaching.IMG_1331But here’s the thing… God sees the needs of His church and He provides… so when we learn of almost $35K lost being lost already, we are concerned about it but we don’t worry because we continue to do what we’ve been called by God to do. As many are out trying to find new ways to obtain funding for their ministry, as present, we at Reformed Church LA are more concerned right now about making sure our community’s needs are being met. This isn’t a show off, or to brag… not at all, the only thing we boast about is our Savior, His great love, and His great power. But because this is a blog about planting churches in the hood, the hood needs to know you care about it before it cares about what you got to say. We’ve come together with some amazing people, truly God ordained partnerships. We’ve undertaken a pretty big responsibility by joining forces with the Lynwood Unified School District to ensure their food pantry did not stop serving the community when the COVID-19 pandemic hit. The district offices were shut down and most employees were extremely busy trying to figure out how to move all their studies to an online format and serve a community that isn’t online by getting them online with distribution of Chromebooks to thousands of students.

Together in partnership with the Lynwood Unified School District, our friends at Greater Emmanuel Temple Church, Lynwood City Council, Parks & Recreation, Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department, and us… Reformed Church L.A have committed to serving and supporting the School District’s Food Pantry every week during the present stay at home order. Because of this collaborative effort, lots of attention has come to what we’re doing, and lots of people are offering to donate money, food, clothes, and themselves to volunteer. During one of these distributions, my good friend Pastor Nisan Stewart of G.E.T said we should talk about how to do more for our community and although it’s a great idea, we both knew that our plates were already super full but just couldn’t pass up an opportunity to do something more to bless our community. We can’t just say we’re worried about their eternity but not their now, right? I immediately thought of our good friend Audrey Casas, who’s an amazing advocate for our community, and we’ve partnered on so many other community efforts in the past. She’d recently started raising funds to help serve those folks in our community who don’t qualify for Federal Stimulus checks, or Unemployment benefits, those families who are the most vulnerable and have lost work, reduction of hours, and money. As we were preparing to meet the following day to talk about getting behind Audrey and her team, I got a call from a homie and fellow church planter in Torrance, Russ Hightower. He said his church (Pacific Crossroads South Bay, a PCA church) wanted to help us and our efforts. Well, ain’t that a coincidence?!? NOT!!! Our God knows what He’s doing and He’s ALWAYS on time. So the very next day after our food distribution efforts we met at G.E.T. and formed a new partnership to further support our community. Below you’ll see Pastor Joe Brown of PCCSB, Audrey Casas of Mastering Hope, Pastor Nisan Stewart of G.E.T. and yours truly, Rev. Rudy Rubio of RCLA. Our homies at PCCSB came through with way more than we could’ve expected and hope to bless hundreds more families with their contribution!  IMG_1937So what does any of this have to do with the title of this blog post, El Roi? Well, that God sees us, and even though we’re all experiencing hard times right now, we don’t let that stop us from doing what we’ve been called by God to do. The platform may have changed, but the mission and the message remains the same. We are confident that if we do as the early church did, like we read from Acts 2:42-47 in which they “devoted themselves” to the Apostle’s teaching, to the breaking of bread, costly fellowship, prayers, and looking out for the needs of others… all the while praising God… we’re gonna be ok and God will add to the numbers of those being saved every day. We gotta keep pushing, we can’t stop, won’t stop, we will not be stopped if we only keep our eyes on the Cross, can I get an amen?! We’ll do what we gotta do, and know that God will do what He’s gotta do. God is faithful… God will provide… God will draw in His people… and God will use His church… we are His people, His called, and He will use as agents of change in this dying world. IMG_1792

So friends, church planters, pastors, church members, or maybe you don’t even believe in God but are actively seeking because you know that there’s some kind of higher power… please know that God is real and He doesn’t lie, He keeps all of His promises and none greater than, “if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Romans 10:9.

So, we’re not a big church that has to cut back on staff, we already don’t have a budget for covering our needs, so we won’t let even less money stop us from serving. God isn’t just Creator, He’s Sustainer, and He’s providential… He’s using our team and our church members as volunteers to step up our game and serve in ways we never thought we’d have to. Our team has stepped it up in so many ways to care not only for our community, but especially for our church, that our family in Christ would know they’re loved, not alone, and have a team of people who got their backs, and what a comfort knowing we can count on these people, right. In other words, they’re truly living out Galatians 6:10 that says, “So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.”

To give you a better understanding as to what I’m talking about, check out this clip of what our Kid’s Ministry did on Easter Sunday.

All that said, if you’ve been a supporter of Reformed Church L.A. and our ministry efforts, please know that we’re so grateful for you, that we appreciate you, and that we’re truly thankful for trusting us with your finances as we seek to share the Gospel of Christ. If you’d like to join in with what we’re doing, please know that we could REALLY use your financial support, as I mentioned at the beginning, we’ve lost almost $35K so far and could use a little help. All for Christ’s glory!!!

Leading Up To Lock Down!

So it’s been approximately 2 1/2 months since I’ve last blogged, not by choice nor lack of want, but because life has been so crazy, seriously! Let me bring you up to speed and fill you in, my last post had to do with complete transparency and how I’d been struggling by taking things too personally and that was end of January. Here are some pictures of our memories since then.

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RCLA partnered w/ the city of Lynwood for the Mayor’s Clergy Prayer Breakfast.

I was honored to have opened in prayer at the Kobe Bryant Memorial hosted by the City of Lynwood in front of hundreds of people.

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RCLA joined a weekly Bible study for the Long Shoremen in Wilmington, CA where our next church plant will be.
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Reformed Church L.A. Women’s Lenten Dinner

My beautiful wife Edna and daughter Natalia were invited to Lynwood’s Breakfast in honor of Women.

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This is THE CREW… Tacos & Theology, a deep study of Reformed Theology. This group of fellas have committed to studying Geerhardus Vos’s Reformed Dogmatics.

And then… Corona Virus hit… and it hit hard. That’s a whole other blog just to be able to tell you how we’ve adapted, what we’ve done, where God has come through for His glory, as well as some of our struggles. It’s all good though because our God is in the heavens and He’s sovereign over ALL.

Victory In No Other

Have you ever felt like you’re just overwhelmed? Like everything around you is falling apart? Or is it just me? It’s not a good feeling right? I was having a couple days like that, where it just seemed that everything that could possibly go wrong, was going wrong. Things at home, at church, with friends, work, marriage… like everything just seems to be piling up!

Please don’t hear what I’m not saying, my family is great, my marriage is strong, friends are awesome, and ministry continues to amaze me… but sometimes, sometimes we can often drown in a glass of water, right? At least that’s what I was experiencing just a few days ago. It seems like no matter how hard you try sometimes to focus on the important things in life, bad news and gossip always seem to come to you, always seem to try to bring you down and get your focus off the Cross and onto insignificant worldly things.

  • When things go right at church, I celebrate immensely, not because of my efforts but because of God’s goodness.
  • When things go right in the home, I celebrate that too, not because of amazing parenting skills, but because of God’s compassion.
  • When things go great in my marriage, I so celebrate the gift of my wife, not because I’m an amazing husband, but because of God’s generosity.

But when things don’t go right, then what?

Then things change… things are different, they’re no longer the same, then I beat myself up. I no longer look to God but instead question myself, horrible right? So that’s a struggle of mine, one amongst many others, but I’m so grateful and full of joy that instead of trying to shift blame when things don’t go right, instead of trying to find fault in myself, I analyze and try to think what God is doing and teaching me in the midst of it. I can be very hard on myself and that inward focus can make me miss what God is actually doing through any given situation.

As I was reading and praying this morning, I don’t know how the heck this song came up in my mind but before I knew it, I was humming it, and then I was singing it, and then I had to look it up on YouTube and play. Here’s the link #DontJudgeMe:

I heard an old, old story,
How a Savior came from glory,
How He gave His life on Calvary,
To save a wretch like me…

O Victory in Jesus, my Savior forever…

Any victory I have is in Christ… from salvation to ordinary and daily living. God is sovereign, yet I’m not a puppet or robot. God uses me, He uses my gifts, and He even uses my flaws and mistakes to bring Him glory. He reconciles all things to Himself, He redeems, and He restores… such a refreshing reminder.

1 Corinthians 15:57,
But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

If you’re struggling today, be reminded of how God is blessing you. I don’t mean material things… but think of the small and usually overlooked things, like coming home each day to your family. With our beloved Kobe Bryant having been tragically killed in a helicopter crash along with his daughter and 7 other people, the world is very aware and sensitive to how short life can be and literally gone in the blink of an eye. It was a startling reminder to me that I can’t allow even ministry to come between spending quality time with my family. I’ve already made the mistake of focusing too much on others and not enough time on my family. That’s a wrap, won’t happen again!

So when I find myself drowning in a glass of water, I’m reminded of God’s goodness, allow me to share some of those celebrations with you, that you might give God glory too for the victories that Christ is giving us:

Our Men’s Group just continues to grow

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Our Youth Group has been restructured and is looking amazing. They’ve got some fundraisers prepped for this year, they’re being refreshed with the Gospel continuously and growing spiritually. Yvette, Kristina, Paul, Jerett, and Ricky are doing a great job with our teens. It’s not just fun and games, they’re gaining the trust of our Youth, and teaching them deep theological truths.

Our Women’s Group is growing, look at these beautiful sisters whom are striving to encourage each other, love each other, and build each other up. Ruby and her crew (Edna, Maribel, Kristina, and Rachel) are putting it down!

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Our Children’s Ministry has also recently undergone a restructuring and we’re amazed at how smooth it is running, our sister Liz Price has outdone herself with an easy system she’s implemented, the amount of support she has is awesome. Edna, Gabby, Tabitha, Ica, Melissa, Christine, Maribel, Oralia, and so many other ladies got her back. As a pastor I’m thankful for her giftings being used to comfort parents knowing their kids are not just being watched, but taught, catechized, and instructed in the ways of the Lord.

And as for our worship team, it started off with many problems but under Rachel’s leadership she’s taken us beyond any expectations we could’ve had, not just in how she leads, invites others to step up, but in how she’s pouring into the next generation of worshippers, and discipling them outside of church and worship ministry.

Thanks for following my/ our story! Thanks for praying for us, encouraging us, supporting us, holding us accountable, but most importantly for just being there for us and not turning away or forgetting about us. We love you!

www.reformedchurch.la

 

 

“2019” 100% Transparent

As 2019 comes to an end and we enter 2020 I reflect upon some of the high lights of this past year, some brought joy and others pain, but despite how I felt… God was working in me and through me for my good and the good of His church and kingdom (Romans 8:28). So many things happened this year that are worthy of mentioning and I’ll be completely honest and try to keep it balanced with both the good and the bad:

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January

  • Mission trip to Brazil, met amazing people sold out for Christ and committed to sharing the Gospel and planting churches along the Amazon.

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February

  • Connected/ Served with our friends at Imago Dei for their “Become Conference”
  • We found a potential home for RCLA Wilmington
  • Received new people into membership and had more baptisms
  • A season and super rough time of feeling overwhelmed with church plant began to increase

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March

  • Got away to Lake Arrowhead w/ church fam for deeper connection
  • Hosted our 2nd Lynwood Commitment at Abbott Elementary School
  • Celebrated my good friend Antonio and his restaurant The Nest’s 5th Year Anniversary in Bellflower
  • Church plant responsibilities began to weigh heavier and heavier on me
  • RCLA’s Official 1 year Anniversary

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April

  • Went into the California Youth Authority to preach and minster to incarcerated youth (I too served time in CYA)
  • In the wake of Nipsey Hussle’s death, coordinated a prayer walk on Crenshaw/ Slauson with approximately 30 pastors/ church leaders from across LA
  • After 7 murders in the neighboring city of Watts, coordinated another prayer walk in the Nickerson Gardens projects with approximately 50 pastors and church leaders from across LA.
  • Received more persons into church membership
  • Was beginning to feel close to burning out

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May

  • Purchased a church van
  • Graduated from Western Theological Seminary in Holland, Michigan w/ an MDIV (Master of Divinity)
  • Took my youngest daughter to see Les Miserables, she almost died of excitement.
  • My daughter graduated from Junior High School.
  • My granddaughter Isabella and son in law Pablo were baptized; more persons received into church membership
  • A beloved church family left, for extremely superficial reasons
  • Suffered our absolute hardest and roughest trial in church leadership as a team

June

  • RCA General Synod at Hope College in Holland, Michigan; started serious questioning the future of RCA
  • Invited to speak/ pray by Congresswoman Nanette Diaz-Barragán at her annual “Prayer Breakfast”
  • Started Sabbatical June 15th

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July

  • I saw my dad for the first time in almost 12 years since he was deported to Mexico
  • Family vacation in Ensenda, Baja, Mexico; best time in years!!! Seriously needed that!!!
  • Back from Sabbatical July 15th
  • Homeboys/ Homegirls from past start to visit church and get involved
  • Compton Leaders Internship Program
  • Granddaughter Isabella’s 1st birthday party

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August

  • RCLA Summer Camp
  • Attended friends’ Weddings (Rari/ Megan) and (Delia/ Jehadi), so awesome!
  • Ordained as a Minister of Word and Sacrament in Reformed Church in America
  • Significant growth in Men’s Group
  • Minor problems begin to bubble in church leadership again w/ one individual
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RCLA’s Worship team partnered with Greater Emmanuel Temple for the Lynwood Unity Service

September

  • I received a recognition from Lynwood’s City Council, truly honored!
  • 3rd Lynwood Commitment at Washington Elementary School
  • Connected with some of my Reformed Latino homies in Chicago
  • Honored to marry two of my good friends (Ricky/ Kristina)
  • RCLA Wilmington Bible study commenced
  • 2nd Annual Lynwood Unity Service (approx. 300 persons)
  • Commenced “Tacos & Theology” (study of Geerhardus Vos’s Reformed Dogmatics)
  • Church loses multiple families for different reasons, none for fault of church
  • I was diagnosed w/ a serious degenerative spinal condition which resulted in a form of depression that last a few months
  • Leadership problems are not able to be resolved and continue w/ one individual, things couldn’t continue much longer this way

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October

  • Spanish River Church Planters Conference in Boca Raton, Florida! Awesome time!
  • Connected w/ more Reformed Latino brothers in South Florida
  • Mens’ Group continues to grow
  • 3rd Annual Trunk or Treat with City of Lynwood (quadrupled in size)
  • I married another great young couple (Braulio/ Desiree) who are a part of our church
  • Lost a beloved aunt in Mexico who was a mom to me in one of my greatest times of despair
  • Acquired additional office space at church
  • Relaunch of Women’s Ministry
  • My brother in law Carlos is released from prison after almost 20 years
  • We lost another key family at church
  • Key leaders step down, and one leaves church
  • We excommunicated a church member
  • Leadership issues appear to be resolved

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November

  • Ordained/ Installed Catrina Moreno as Deacon
  • Acts 29 US West Regional Conference in Reno, NV.
  • Received more new members into church.
  • Reorganize/ restructure Children/ Youth Ministries
  • Problems w/ previous members/ leaders continue; affects present leadership
  • Present leadership team is strengthened, expanded, and much more cohesive

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December

  • Concluded Cohort Training through Manna Grant at Southlands Church, great time!
  • RCLA Youth March in Lynwood Christmas Parade 2nd year in a row.
  • Worship Team Christmas Party
  • Ventura Youth Correctional Facility Christmas Dinner/ Ministry
  • Natalia’s Christmas/ Jazz Concerts at LACHSA
  • Shepherd LA gathering with other brothers/ pastors
  • My son Diego gets his first college acceptance letter (Humboldt State)
  • Christmas Dinner w/ RCLA Consistory
  • For the first time in what seemed an eternity our leadership team is tight, on the same page, and in harmony!

Life is not perfect, but God is with us every step of the way! I’m grateful for the hand dealt me, that I get to serve the risen Savior, Christ Jesus for His glory here in Lynwood.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“We will reap, if we do not give up…”

Over the last 2 years, our young church plant has undergone so many changes, changes that we’d been warned about, and actually told would happen, but we resisted believing because after all, it was “our” team… and we were different. We soon found out though, that in reality, we weren’t much different at all, status quo, like all the rest of them, in a sense that our team almost turned over completely. What does that mean? Well, during some basic church planting training, we were told that our launch team would be much different a year into it, and we were like, “Nah…not our team!”. But the truth is that more than ½ of our team has since left, for various reasons, some good, some bad, and some had none, they just… disappeared. But we’ve come to learn that church planting isn’t for everybody… you’ve gotta be a special kinda crazy.

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This blog post is not to address those that have left, Lord bless them, but instead to honor and acknowledge those who’ve stepped up and stepped in. You see, the turnover started just 3 weeks into it, when the first family informed us that they’ll be leaving and going back to the church we’d just left. We also had primary leaders such as Worship Directors, Elder & multiple Deacon candidates stepped down or left the church altogether leaving huge vacancies and gaps to fill. The hard part in church planting is that we don’t want any open slots, no vacant jobs, everything must be filled. The thought is that because we’re small, or because we’re new that nothing can be left vacant, but that’s a huge mistake. We put people in spots they shouldn’t have been placed. But when you can’t afford to pay anyone, is it really feasible to think that folks will be in it for the long haul? Is it logical to think that folks would go through with commitments?

I’ll let you answer those questions some other time, but for now, I just wanted to give you some background so you can understand the context of us wanting to plant a highly theologically inclined church in the hood where there are no such churches. Theology can often seem a curse word in the church where it’s more charismatic and emotion driven and that’s what we have here in our area. Lots and lots and lots of churches… but, they’re the classic and stereotypical black and Hispanic churches. They love Jesus, but they just don’t know who He truly is… folks are more passionate about expressing their love of Him but not so much about getting to know Who He is through deep theological study.

So let me begin to tell you our story and start off with our Elder candidates:

Steve Price, I can remember there was a time when he was a bit sad that he was not considered as a Deacon in our previous church. I remember having a conversation with him to cheer him up and saying something to the effect of how he didn’t know whether God had a different calling on his life in the future, (this isn’t said to in any way downplay the role of a Deacon in the Lord’s Church). We had no clue at the time that we’d be planting a couple years later, much less that those very words would be lived out with Steve stepping into the role of an Elder candidate, to be ordained on Palm Sunday of 2020 when he preaches his first sermon. Steve’s natural abilities to lead and his love of God’s Word have allowed him in a much smaller church to be developed and has grown leaps and bounds.

We originally had 2 Elder candidates, but with one stepping down unexpectedly, it left Steve to cover the role of both and take on the respective responsibilities on his own, until Randy Fao was called in.

Randy Fao, is a huge Samoan teddy bear, who loves Jesus passionately, can hold a tune better than most R&B singers and gratefully accepted a call to prayerfully consider stepping into the role of an Elder candidate. Randy originally served on our worship team along with his wife Rachel (please see our story on Worship Director below) and definitely meets all the biblical qualifications for an Elder. To have witnessed the continued growth in Randy has been amazing. To watch his love and hunger for solid biblical doctrine (Reformed) and lead his family is so encouraging.

Rachel Fao has been with us since day one but served with and alongside two previous Worship Directors, both who also left unexpectedly, and she rose to the occasion, has led us, and actually raised the bar in how we worship. She has a deep love of God’s Word so she takes extremely seriously the task of only including biblically sound lyrics in what we sing in corporate worship, knowing that folks will most likely forget our sermons, but the songs will stay with them long past Sunday. This is such a big deal for us knowing that many Worship Directors don’t do this, they play most popular Christian songs without taking the time to examine the theology in them. To see her lead/ direct our worship team, develop a youth choir, and serve on multiple levels in the church makes me one proud pastor/ brother. She is humble and has also taken on the task of developing the next generation of worship leaders which include my daughter Natalia, as well as her daughter JoJo, there’s a small clip above.

As for our Deacons, we’re blessed with Eddie Moreno, now ordained and installed, his wife Catrina “Cat” Moreno, also ordained and installed, as well as Maribel Abarca, who is presently a candidate, all three are serving and leading our church with administration, and mercy ministry efforts.

Eddie is a brother who does whatever is needed, nothing is ever beneath him, and his energy to just get things done is awesome. He brings much wisdom to the team, and of our original Deacon candidates, he is the only one left. We’ve had 4 others step down at different stages of our planting journey. Watching Eddie lead his family and grandkids, take younger men under his wing and train them up from everything to set up, taking up offerings, just demonstrates a servant’s heart all around. We’re so thankful for his leadership!

Cat Moreno, Eddie’s wife, stepped up and into the role of a Deacon/ Administrator when our previous Admin also left unexpectedly. She has a history in finance and taxes, but a love for serving Christ surpasses the others. She is humble, adamant about being good stewards, and has helped serve on and support multiple other ministries too, it is always encouraging to see her interact with out church family. I’ve seen her growth from having watched her invite homeless folks into our services when we were in the park to her advising on financial issues now and bringing guidance shows just how the Lord always provides for our needs (Ph. 4:19).

Maribel Abarca, actually heard about RCLA being planted in Lynwood, and since she’s a Lynwood resident, she stopped by shortly after we started. We had just moved from the park into the Lutheran building (present location) and her family was quickly brought into fellowship, discipleship, and her entire family was baptized (Dad, Mom, and 3 kids). Maribel’s husband Tony serves on our A/ V team, and Maribel was invited to contemplate Consistory as a Deacon candidate, which she’s been preparing for and serving as for the last year, or so. She stepped in when there was a need and serves with joy. She also has experience in finance/ banking and brings wisdom and guidance to our Consistory and church. She’s always demonstrated a character of humility and love of Jesus and His people.

Liz Price, Steve’s wife, is a life-long teacher in the LBC, has supported our church planting efforts since day 1. She’s helped serve in other areas and actually established a Women’s Ministry soon after we planted, she’s the most amazing servant, and when it comes to organizing, leading, and decorating for special events, watch out… she’s on it. Our Children’s Ministry leader also left unexpectedly (horrible pattern, right?) and Liz didn’t take long to agree to step in, lead, re-organize, and gather up a team twice the previous size, to help her succeed in re-launching our kids’ ministry. The fact that she’s an experienced teacher is a huge plus for us.

We’ll be having one more Deacon step into candidacy next year, brother Bill Hilton, who’s been a Lynwood resident for 30+ years, we are confident he too will bring his giftings to our Consistory and help strengthen our existing team.

Then there are people like Kristina Camacho, Yvette Alvarez, and Diego & Sara Vallejo who are stepping up as a team to lead our Youth Ministry (yep, you guessed it, because our previous Youth Leader left unexpectedly too). They’ve recently recruited the likes of Paul Solórzano and Jerett Soto to joining their team. I’m excited about where they’ll be taking out Youth ministries too.

There are women like Ruby Morales, Kristina Camacho (again), and Edna Rubio (yes, my wife) to help lead the Women’s Ministries. We’ve got our set-up teams with Rudy Ruiz, Edwin Martinez, and a handful of teens. Speaking of teens, Diego Mercado, my 17 yr. old son, stepped in at the age of 15 to lead our A/ V team when (yep… right again) our previous sound guy unexpectedly left the church. Diego single handedly took on that role for over a year and now has Tony Abarca on the team, doing a great job.

As you’ve seen, many folks have stepped in to serve in roles that needed to be filled, but we’ve learned that we made many mistakes in planting this church. Because we needed roles to be filled, we handed out titles too quickly, we didn’t take our time to see how people would work under pressure, how they’d resolve conflict, work as a team, be cohesive, etc. So, after certain roles were vacant, we weren’t in hurry to fill them, but God has sovereignly brought these humble servants to step in, be developed, and lead alongside our team. Friends, God provides! Not just money, but the people, the right people to help do what we’ve been called to do… plant a Reformed, Confessional, liturgical, multicultural church in the hood that will plant other churches in the hood.

Please pray for our team, God has sovereignly brought this group of folks to lead His church here in Lynwood. We had to go through many things, situations, and circumstances to get to this point, which is exactly where we need to be. I’m so grateful for these folks and what they bring of themselves to our team.

As we read in Galatians 6:9, “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” be reminded that in ministry, it’s ok to never get tired of doing “more” for God; feel free to stay in the fight, feel free to not throw in the towel, feel free to stick it out and see how God will use you… why? Because Jesus’ conditions weren’t perfect either, and He stuck it out for us, He voluntarily went to the Cross for us, He didn’t give up. Support your pastors, support your leaders, give all you can for Christ… for He is worthy. There is no such thing as the Spiritual gift of “comfort” and “selfishness” is not a biblical qualification for anything. In a world where everyone wants something new, I lift up and honor those who are willing to step up to the plate, and go the long haul to get it done… this isn’t for us, it’s for King Jesus!

 

It’s that time of year again…

Money can be such a problem, right? Holiday shopping, end of year budget crunching and end of year “asks” for donations, etc. As believers we are not to let money become an idol, but at the same time it is needed for life and ministry. We cannot serve “God and money” and we do not preach a prosperity gospel promising folks health and wealth if only they’d invest in us… that’s not only a false teaching but plain heresy, treating Jesus as a 401K plan with a promised “high return for your investment”. So what do we do? Why is it such a big deal? Follow me here, ok?

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Imagine you were starting a business and you don’t have the start-up money. In this new business you won’t be selling any goods or merchandise and you won’t be offering any specific services in exchange for money, yet you have to continue to make money in order to stay in business. Does that sound crazy? But you’ve got a group of investors or partners who have agreed and pledged to help you start this business, but not all of them are committed at the same level.

Here are some of the business partner-types I’m talking about:

  • Sugar Rush – Super excited about starting the business, really pumped up, but excitement doesn’t last long; too much work, too much self-sacrifice, and not enough return on time or monies invested.
  • The Innovaters – love being on the cusp of new ideas, doing things different, they get a rush for being on the edge but when the idea is no longer new, it’s time to go.
  • Wax-On/ Wax-Off – people who are awesome, loving, and 100% on board… sometimes; what I mean is, they want to help you with this new business, but are super afraid of cutting ties to previous, long established, deep-rooted business and express doubt every other day.
  • My way or Highway – partners who are sold out for the start-up one day and willing to give everything up for the sake of its success, but leave when they don’t get their way.
  • The Left Behind Ones – partners who commit because of friendship and don’t want to be left behind but never follow through with investment of time, money, or support.
  • Ulterior Motives – partners who join the team for all the wrong reasons in hopes of fulfilling some personal agenda and when that doesn’t happen, they too abandon team.
  • Everything But My Money – these are the partners who are committed and business savvy entrepreneurs, who are studied, and claim to have much knowledge about this type of business, but they never truly invest in it.
  • The Post Men – these are the partners who are in it for the long haul, the folks that whether it’s raining, sleeting, or snowing they are committed to following through with their responsibilities to the team and start up. #GOLD

So why the heck would I start out a church planting blogpost talking about new businesses?

Because that is exactly what it’s like to plant a church! In order to plant, we needed to raise money, keep money coming in yet we don’t sell a product, don’t offer services in exchange for money, we want to reach out to our community and share our message, explaining to them that this is the greatest news ever, however, most of our community has long lost interest in the message we bring. The previous messengers have tainted the message itself or shared it in ways that instead of drawing people in, have actually pushed them away. Or the most common is that the message challenges present lifestyles, would cause too much change, and they’re not ready for that because the concept of God seems to distant, too far off, and in reality, just not real anymore.

What did I mean when I started off saying “It’s that time of year again…”?

It’s that time of year again in that we look at our budgets and see how much money was spent? Did we come under our budget or go over? What is it going to look like for next year? How much more money are we going to need? Where in the world are we going  get it? We’re not selling nothing nor offering services and many of our original partners have left, we’ve got new ones who say they are on board but they haven’t quite started investing yet? There are others who think what we’re doing is great, and come often but haven’t quite made a commitment to invest. What do we do?

We trust God and work our behinds off to raise the necessary funds we need to pay the bills so the church can keep its doors open, preach the Gospel, love on the neighborhood in the name of Jesus, and disciple/ teach/ and train those committed partners (church members) that they too would take others under their wing and do the same (discipleship). I’ve heard folks say all we need to do is preach the Gospel! That’s the silliest thing I’ve ever heard. I mean, yes, let’s preach the Gospel HARD! Explicity, with clarity, and boldness… but who are we going to preach to if no one is in the pews. I’ve also read that church planters need shepherds and not entrepreneurs, that too is silly. Yes, the church needs shepherds to love the members, walk with them, encourage them, and have them follow us as we follow Christ.

But like I said, church planting is like starting a business, so we need to do more than just “preach”, more than “shepherd”, and although preaching is imperative and our main goal, it is not the only goal. We have to be resourceful, we have to network, we have to open our hands and ask for help… why? Because we need it! And if we truly believe in our message and our calling then we must not be ashamed or embarrassed of asking for help.

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The Apostle Paul asked for money to support the ministry, but he also made tents, he was bi-vocational. We can’t say we trust Jesus to “supply all our needs” (Ph. 4:19) and just sit around waiting for things to happen. Yes, we must have faith but we must also work hard at our calling. We can’t say we really, really need a job and say we trust Christ will get us that job yet never fill out applications, submit resumes, or follow up with potential employers and just wait for the job to fall from the sky, it doesn’t work that way.

I never knew how good I was at raising money until I had to depend on it in order to provide for my family. Seriously! As Christians, especially church planters, we can’t just sit around and wait for a check to fall out of the sky because someone heard our sermon online. We must reach into our communities, build relationships, get to know people, build trust, know their stories, pray for their needs, follow up with them, and share Jesus with them. We need to tell them God’s law, show them how they’ve broken it, explain to them the consequences, and then inform them of the glorious Good News of Jesus Christ, that their sins would be forgiven, that if they believe in the Jesus of the Bible, they’d be saved. And unfortunately, it takes money to be able to do these things, at least at the level of planting a church.

So why plant a church? Why go through all the hardship? Why subject yourself and family to all the struggles and heartaches? Because Christ is worth it! Because everyone needs to hear about Him, because… well, the Apostle Paul summarizes it pretty well, listen to his words:

Philippians 3:8-10

Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— 10 that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,

With that being said, today is #GivingTuesday and I’ll end this blog as I started by saying, “It’s that time of year again…” Would you please consider giving to Reformed Church LA? Would you consider us as one of the charities to give to, knowing that lives will be changed, not just for now, but forever as we proclaim the Gospel of Christ boldly, confidently, and accurately? Please know we’re grateful and our team of “Post Men” are grateful you’d trust in us and what God is doing through our lil church.

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If you feel led to give, please do so by clicking on this link here we’re registered with PayPal’s Giving Fund:

Give Here To Reformed Church LA

If you’re a visual person like me, here are some pictures of who we are, where we minister, and some of the beautiful people God has brought us together with.

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“You Ain’t Runnin’ Nothin’ But Your Mouth!”

In my younger days, this phrase was one we used quite often, when challenging someone’s authority, inviting them to step up or get outta the way and things usually did not end on a good note. This was almost always said in order to provoke the other into a fight, not just words, but the words were to instigate a violent encounter… you with me so far? So why would I start out this blog post with a phrase that is used to instigate or provoke something? Simple, I’d like to provoke your thoughts and challenge certain beliefs.

Dear Pastor/ Elder/ Deacon/ Director/ Ministry Leader/ Usher/ Volunteer/ Church Member/ Church Attender:

The church is not yours!!!

Although we should treat it as it is, work hard for it as if it were, give our all to serving and growing it as if it were our own and be generous with our finances too… but the truth of the matter is that it’s not our church, and when things don’t go our way, we can’t take it personal, when things seem like they’re falling apart, we must remember it’s not our church… It’s the Lord’s and He’s sovereign, He’s got it and He knows what He’s doing… maybe we have made mistakes, maybe we could’ve done things better… but in the end, I’ve seen how God honors the efforts of His children who glorify His name, He honors those who set aside their lives to live for Him.

This famous hood quote reminded me that no matter what I’m doing, how much I think I’ve done, or how hard I’m working… the church ain’t mine! I ain’t runnin’ nothin’ but my mouth… He’s in charge, Christ is calling the shots, and He’s the boss… not me! So when it seems like we have one thing happening after another, although things may seem bad, things might seem overwhelming… it’s Christ’s church, and He said the gates of hell would not prevail against it, right? (Matthew 16:18)

I find comfort in Proverbs 19:21 that reminds me that, “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.

We can’t see what lies ahead, but we should trust in Christ’s finished work on the Cross because ultimately that’s all that matters, right? That our faith would be placed in His life, death, resurrection, and ascension… and that His shed bled on Calvary atone for the sins of His people. So when people leave the church, others come… when the church loses donors, Christ provides through other means… when bills pop up that you weren’t expecting, they get covered… when you run out of space, God provides new ones… when you think you’re running the show, be reminded that you’re not, you ain’t runnin’ nothin’ but your mouth.

Today we finished up a series of classes for New Members and Baptism, next week we should be receiving 7 new members and one person being baptized. When things seem to be going wrong with a 391 year-old denomination, it’s not my denomination, it’s the Lord’s… He’s sustained it for almost 400 years, He’ll continue to do His work no matter who remains or who goes. Whether that’s us or not, we don’t know the future, but we know Who does, and so long as we’re reminded and comforted knowing that we are secure in the palm of His hand, nothing else matters! (Enter Metallica here)

Friends, be encouraged… be reminded that… Christ doesn’t change.

Hebrews 13:8, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.”

A really good friend of mine, also a Pastor/ Church Planter reached out to check in, as is our usual custom, and he asked about our Lord’s Day and I kinda bragged on what God was doing, right? And He tells me that their worship leader had a melt down and left seconds before service was to start… I was like, “YO?!?!?!!? Are you serious?!?!?” And it reminded me of something that we’d experienced too. But his next comment was so beautiful, he said their team came together and what came forward was glorious! In other words, God was honored, no matter what happened, even if they got caught slippin’ seconds before church worship service started… their team came together… “and it was glorious”. I can’t even imagine what that must’ve felt like… but it reminds me that when things catch us off guard, when we feel like someone dumped something in our lap at the last minute, there’s a team of godly people that can come together and push forward under pressure… and glorify God as they do so. I love it when God shows up and shows out like that.

Today we ordained and installed to the office of Deacon, our sister Catrina “Cat” Moreno, and it was a joy to see our church, her close friends, and family be there to offer support. So as folks have come and gone, each having helped us build up the church in their own way, others have stayed, still others have come and are being baptized/ becoming members, and others still have taken huge commitments as our sister and now Deacon Cat Moreno, to serve the Lord’s church here in Lynwood. Thanks be to God!

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You Ain’t Got To Lie Craig! From Mexican Mafia Soldier To Soldier for Christ

Any of ya’ll remember that movie “Friday” with Ice Cube and Chris Tucker? You know you do! Remember that scene where Craig’s girlfriend accused him of being with another girl? She said, “You ain’t got to lie Craig!!!” and honestly, that phrase has been coming up more and more as I see some of the stuff people are posting, stories people are telling, and exaggerated brag-a-monies about their previous lives.

Why am I even talking about this? I know it may sound petty and even childish, but would you be able to sit by and listen to someone lie, or lead you to believe something that really isn’t true, in order to make it seem like they were something they really weren’t, and in a fake way give glory to God? If you can play possum, you’re a stronger willed person than me… now, I won’t make a scene, but they know who they are… they know we know some of the same people… they know that I know that all they say ain’t true… normally, I wouldn’t give 2 cents of a dang… but when they wanna include my Jesus… that’s another story, one they’ll have to take up with Him one day, Matthew 12:36 tells us that one day we’ll give an account for every careless word we say.

I know some pretty crazy individuals that have come to faith in Christ, dudes that have done hard time, life sentences, SHU terms, I know because I was right there with them in prison, and people that have walked in our shoes, well, we just don’t go throwin’ that stuff out there like that. I mean, sure we talk about the past at the right time and in the right context, but truth be told, we actually try to tone it down, and not let that be the thing we’re known for, but instead let it be known for who we are now in Christ, and that it was only by His saving grace, and transformative power of Christ through the Holy Spirit that we are alive and serving Him and His people.

So why is this important to me? Because God does NOT need us to lie about our testimony in order to make him look bigger or stronger. It’s important because people aren’t stupid, we’ve all got a built in BS reader, and when folks know you’re not legit, they then begin to question you, your God, and is He really as great as you make Him out to be… feel me? We need to be real, keep it 100, God doesn’t need our help in making Him out to be more than what He is, and to keep it even more real, His Word tells us to not lie, to be honest, and stop doing the stuff we used to do like lying, Ephesians 4:25, “Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.”

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My “Wanted” poster from 1997

I’m gonna share something here I’ve not mentioned to many people, because there’s not been a need for it, but in order that Christ might be exalted to show that He is still in the business of healing, raising the dead, and doing miracles… peep game and continue to read so you’ll know just what I’m talking about. I, and many of you too, was sick… I was spiritually dead… and Christ healed me within, He gave me a heart transplant, He took my heart of stone and gave me a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26), Jesus literally raised me from being spiritually dead and raised me to life in Himself… those are miracles, maybe not like what you were imagining, but I know what my life was like before Christ entered it and I know where I am now.

I was released from the California Correctional Institution in Tehachapi on October 20, 2010 and on June 6th, 2012 a confiscated letter was published in the Los Angeles Times from a Mexican Mafia member in Federal Prison that was giving instructions to another Mexican Mafia member to contact me so that I could help them out with some issues they were having, the letter listed my gang name, my real name, address and phone number blacked out, and when I heard about this I was like, “What the….???” I’m a Christian now, I’m not involved with that stuff anymore, the only one I serve now is Christ, to Him alone is my allegiance, to Him alone am I committed… He is the only One that calls the shots in my life… oh, and my wife too! (But please don’t tell her I said that). But I was still being recruited into their affairs and didn’t even know it until one of my homies called me to tell me about the article they read in the L.A. Times.

I was petrified, I immediately thought I’d be going back to prison, and having to prove that I had nothing to do with this letter, what it was ordering, the killing of a lawyer, collecting street taxes, and a host of other things. My life was changed, I was serving Christ faithfully, but you see, the world still didn’t believe it, folks still thought it wasn’t real, that it was a phase, that I’d eventually get past it all. But no, I’m still here, in the palm of Christ’s hand (John 10:29). Just a few weeks ago, I was honored to lead my good friend’s mom’s memorial service, God had blessed me with the privilege of sharing the Gospel with her the very day before she passed on.

At this funeral, I was extremely nervous, because I knew that many of my homeboys from my old neighborhood would be there, they all knew that I was a Christian, a Pastor, but how would I be received? Deep down, I questioned whether or not it still mattered to me what they thought. I know many of them were upset with me, they felt let down by me for having walked away from the gang. Some of these guys are people I’d known since I was 13, fought with, fought over, got shot with, shot at others, drank with, got high with, cried with, committed crimes with, celebrated victories with, mourned deaths and losses with… and even done time with. Yet here we were, again together, and I was standing before them, sharing the Gospel of Christ, encouraging them to believe in this Jesus! After some awkward looks, and handshakes, it seemed as if we’d been teleported back in time, like nothing had changed, based on some of our conversations, it was 10-15 years ago once again, but our gray hairs, wrinkled faces, and different lives reminded us how time in fact had passed by. They are all very aware of my previous EME connections, affiliated with them as a soldier, but now… now I was a soldier for Christ, boldly heralding His Gospel of salvation to any and all.

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This is a lot to say, I know it, but in the same way I had enemies back when I was involved with the gang, so now I have enemies, one in particular who is waiting outside my door every day (Gen. 4:7) in hopes of tripping me up, disqualifying me, and causing folks to not trust or believe what I say. Back then, I knew exactly who my enemies were, I knew what they looked like, where they were from, what cars they drove, etc… but now, it’s hard to discern, hard to identify who Satan tries to use against us. Some times it’s the obvious, other times not so much, it comes from within our church, amongst our leaders, other pastors and church planters… yes, other Christians. Hard to believe? It shouldn’t, we’re all sinners, we’re all broken, to some level or degree more than others. But when these situations come about, they are still hard and hurtful! I can honestly say to you that gang banging has nothing on church planting. I’ve probably experienced more let downs, hurt, betrayals, and abandonment in 2 years than I did in 25 years on the streets. What does that tell you? The enemy is mad, so we must be doing something right! The Apostle Paul in 2 Timothy 2:10 said, “This is why I endure all things for the elect: so that they also may obtain salvation, which is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory.” and I’ll try and do the same.

“I’ve probably experienced more let downs, hurt, betrayals, and abandonment in 2 years than I did in 25 years on the streets.”

As a church planter, I need to do much more than a pastor of an established church, you see, we’re not established, still trying to get there, so we have to work 10 times as much, twice as hard, for much less money, and with only a fraction of the resources… and people still complain about that. People are still offended when they are encouraged to get up and get to church on Sunday morning via social media video posts, people will bring accusations of showboating, being prideful, money hungry, or anything… you name it, everything under the sun. So let me back track to where I started… “You ain’t got to lie Craig!!!” Let us always keep it real, with God and ourselves… if we can do that then we’ll be real with others, and if folks know we’re being real with them, they just might believe what we say, and our story should be the Gospel of Christ and His truth, not ours.

Ministry is rough and church planting is not for the faint hearted!

Church planter, CORE Team/ launch team, financial supporters of church plants, church planting families, prayer partners of planters, please never stop grinding for the Lord, He deserves nothing less than our absolute best. He deserves we take the extra step, that we go the extra mile… we shouldn’t try to cut corners on Him because He didn’t cut corners for us, He endured it all… to the very end, right? Be real with who you are, don’t feel the need to impress folks, but instead be more concerned with impressing Christ, after all, what He thinks about us is all that really matters. Thanks for reading this blog, and thanks for the shout outs, I keep hearing about the Bumble Bee family video from my last post. Be reminded that your pastors need you, please never stop praying for them, and when everything is alright, reach out to bless them, don’t wait for life to be falling apart.



 

I just wanted to belong! 2 Cor. 5:17

As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to belong! I always felt like I needed to be accepted into something, with someone(s), and not be left on the outside. When I was just a kid growing up in Cudahy, I remember me and some of my friends would take a short cut to Park Ave. Elementary that was along the LA River, and on this short cut we encountered what we thought was an abandoned house, and some of the older neighborhood cholos pressured us into “keeping point” (serve as a look out) while they broke in and hit the jackpot with tons of stolen goods, I knew it was wrong but I got a brand new pair of white Chuck Taylors out of it, so it was cool with me! But unfortunately, we went back again and they got arrested inside the house, and so did that fat kid on look out duty, I was only 8 years old when I got arrested for the first time!

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My cousin Chino RIP (who was killed in Lynwood), myself, and my homeboy Kali (circa 1987)

I remember I’d only been going to Nimitz Junior High in Huntington Park for less than 2 months and was never able to connect with anyone, I actually got punked and I hated it. I didn’t wanna participate in PE because that meant I had to undress and then shower in front of a bunch of skinny kids, and I was terribly embarrassed. I was never able to fit into any group, like any group… not even the nerds! I was soon notified that I’d been accepted into Belvedere Jr. High School’s Magnet program in East LA and I just couldn’t shake Nimitz soon enough. I remember telling myself that I would never be left out again, I had to be a part of something… I couldn’t be left on the outside ever again. And soon, I was starting all over… in East LA I would reinvent myself, a better version of who I’d been, a much cooler version and tougher version. IMG_2088

Top Row: Chava, Chiquis, Lil Silent, Jughead, Black John
Bottom Row: Me and Lil Roy

This would turn into a pattern throughout my life, a pattern of seeking to be invited in, to be accepted, and to belong to someone or something bigger than myself. My parents were always working and didn’t pay me much mind, not even when I excelled in school, that didn’t get their attention much, but then in Jr. High School I started to get into trouble, and eventually got into the neighborhood gang. Now THAT got their attention! I soon picked up my criminal career where I’d left it 5 years before, and at 13 years old ended up going to Camp Miller, a County Probation Camp, for a year, then the California Youth Authority for almost 3 years, then the LA County Jail, then multiple prison sentences in the California Dept. of Corrections, and eventually a wanted fugitive on the run in Mexico for almost 6 years. All of this happened because I was trying to fill a deep void within me, an emptiness I was never able to put my finger on, I just knew that something was missing and I desperately wanted to find it, own it, and never let it go. It would be many years before I realized only Christ could fill that void.

My homegirl Rachel, Diapers RIP, Racoon from F13, me, and my homegirl Chola (Huntington Park, 1986-87)

Why am I telling you all of this? Because I’ve since found what it was that I was missing, my last time in prison I finally realized what it was. When I came to faith on my knees in a prison cell, I realized that I didn’t need to be accepted by other people, and when I’d found that my true identity was in Christ, my whole life changed forever. That void I’d been trying to fill with violence, alcohol, drugs, women, power, money, jewelry, guns, none of it ever came close to satisfying me, as a matter of fact they actually made me feel emptier inside. But when Christ drew me unto Himself, everything changed. I started to see how He’d been working on me for so many years, allowing me make so many bonehead decisions, knowing those mistakes would not go to waste, He’d eventually redeem them all unto Himself as those things have helped shape me to be a much better and effective pastor.

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Left: Me finishing up the last of my 3 years in the California Youth Authority as YA#55780, summer of 1990.                                          

All of us, every single human being longs for someone or something. We all long to be loved, to be accepted, to belong and be a part of something greater than ourselves.

Psalm 4:4 says,“How long will you love vain words and seek after lies?” I believe, that at the very root of all our wrong, all of our decision-making is motivated by this desire of vain words, we seek flattery, we’re selfish and want it to be about us, our wants, our needs, our satisfaction and we desire to be complete by things outside of God. When I found Christ, I found myself. I knew my place was in Christ, I’d found what I’d desperately longed for all those years, the desire to be loved, to be accepted and wanted, to be included into something and not left out… through my faith I was grafted into the family of God, adopted by Him based on Christ’s merits and not my own.

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At Las Pulgas in Tijuana, Baja California, Mexico with legendary Boxer Julio Cesar Chavez, and El Halcon de la Sierra RIP

Church planting has helped me accomplish multiple related goals, it’s given me a sense of belonging not just to God, but to His family too, belonging to other broken individuals that also seek to be loved and belong to Christ’s people. No longer a criminal street gang member, but now a member of a family, a family bound by the blood of Jesus, one that is committed to growing together in faith, drawing closer to each other, encouraging each other, spurring each other on towards love and good deeds, and evening holding each other accountable… at least to those that have stuck around and not ghosted us when things got tough. Doing the right thing isn’t always easy, ministry is often hard, ugly, and in a time when more and more pastors are committing suicide, it can be downright scary too, if we’re gonna remain honest and transparent. I remember many years ago, in the early 90’s while in the LA County Jail looking at a life sentence, there was a band that was always on MTV, it wasn’t my style of music, but this particular song caught my attention because of the video, the message it sent, and then the music made sense too.

The group was Blind Melon and the song was, “No Rain” and in it there was a little white, chubby, freckle faced girl with red hair who was dressed as some type of bumble bee and kept roaming the city looking to fit in but people ignored and laughed at her. Then finally as she was walking by a field, she came up to the gate and looked in and saw a bunch of other people dressed as bumble bees, folks of different shapes, sizes, and colors all dressed the same as her, and they welcomed her in to their circle. As unmanly as it may sound, I was that little girl, that’s how I felt my whole life, never really fitting in as myself, but instead having to fake it ‘til I made it to be accepted, even becoming a hardened gang member, that was never the real me… but I couldn’t let anyone know that.

PLEASE WATCH THIS – Blind Melon Video “No Rain”

In church, I not only found the Lord, but His people too, a bunch of imperfect, sinning, broken wretches, that acknowledge their brokenness and dire need of Christ… not just as Savior, but as Lord too. That is where I belong, with the people of God… they are my fellow bumble bees, and I’ll be around for the long haul to do life with them. Church planting has been rough, but it’s been great too, I’ve found what my purpose is in life, to be with not just “a group” of people but “thee group” of people, God’s people, that we would journey together to help others know that there is purpose in their lives too, one of exponential worth compared to anything in this world.

John Calvin said that, “All the blessings we enjoy are Divine deposits, committed to our trust on this condition, that they should be dispensed for the benefit of our neighbors.” This makes me take a daily inventory: What are my blessings? How are they being counted as Divine deposits? How will I use them for the benefit of my neighbors? For my church family? For my friends and community? This is one of my greatest driving forces, one that pushes me to give God my all, not because I am trying to earn any favor with Him, but because I am so appreciative of His saving grace, I feel like I just can’t do enough to repay Him, to thank Him enough, or express my love for what He’s done for me. I now know who I am, who I belong to, and what Christ did for me. He lived a life I never could, He died a death meant for me, and He resurrected on the 3rdday proving He is the Son of God, and then He ascended to heaven in the presence of many witnesses giving us instruction on what to do. And that’s what I’m trying to do in helping plant a church, that would plant other churches that plant churches. I want anyone and everyone know that they are loved, that they can belong and can be accepted just as they are, and trust God knowing that as they study His Word, His Law, and appreciate His grace and mercy, that their lives would change, that they would be more like Christ, that they would seek righteousness and holiness, that their lives would reflect their appreciation of Christ’s finished work on the Cross.

There’s no need to join a gang, in order to feel like you belong, there’s no need to seek acceptance anywhere outside of Christ, His family has an easy initiation, you just trust Him, you just believe in Him, you acknowledge your sin and need of a Savior, and affirm that because He is our Savior He must also be our Lord. Our church family is not perfect, not by a long shot, but we try really hard to honor Jesus, we know we’re different, we know we’ve got issues, we know we don’t know it all, and we know that without Christ at the center nothing lasts. Our team has had a high turnover rate, but Christ is still at the center, He’s still our head and we are still His bride… we know we are His, and that we belong to Him.

If you’re in a church and are discouraged, be reminded that Christ reigns.

If you’re in a church and feel like you’re not connecting, try harder.

If you’re in a church and feel like you’re not serving, get involved and help.

If you’re in a church and feel like you’re not needed, believe me you are.

If you’re in a church and not officially a part of it, ask when the next membership class is.

If you’re in a church and not helping it with it’s mission, you need to get on it.

If you’re in a church and not giving, stop holding on to what God gave you to steward.

Pray for your pastors, pray for your elders, deacons, and ministry leaders. Pray for those that just visited your church for the first time.

Pray for those that will be coming to your church, that they’d feel at home.

Pray for those that have stopped going to church, are hiding, and avoiding you.

Pray for your community, neighbors, and the unsaved…

You belong! You are loved! You are needed! You are cared for!